Month: July 2015


Excellent, now that I have your attention, I am here to tell you the truth, and you know what, you don’t even need me to say it as you know this already. There is No. Such. Thing… Yet we still click on links that kid us into thinking that ‘purveyors’ of such trash (whoever ‘they’ maybe) hold the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You may have noticed them penning similar sneaky articles entitled ‘How to get a Victoria’s Secret body, while eating a tub of ice cream, and lying in bed all day’… OK not quite, but you get the picture I’m sure.

I went to see Magic Mike XXL on Friday and I am not ashamed to say I loved every minute of it! Dancing, theatrical performances, hot men and a special shout out to the awesome Jada Pinkett Smith – in my book, WHAT is there not to like?! But once all the hype of seeing these perfect bodied men had calmed down, it seemed that there was something missing, and I suppose that elusive thing was depth. “It’s a film about strippers!” I hear you cry, “It’s not supposed to have depth”, and yes I do acknowledge this. The point is, the snapshot that you see of them performing is just that, a teeny tiny brief glimpse of them and from this point it is easy to get carried away musing things from this one angle. They look amazing (full credit to their self discipline and personal trainers), and based on this along with the output of other media channels, women start to build lists of ideals in their head for their perfect match. Lists of requirements that no poor perspective partner is ever going to be able to live up to.

Then the worst bit kicks in…you build your list, then get totally disappointed. Cue long discussions with girlfriends full of self doubt musing about how you are never going to find ‘the one’, let alone keep him. Meanwhile, the poor decent guys you meet, are discarded as they don’t have David Gandy’s body, Lord Sugar’s business empire, Gordon Ramsay’s cooking skills, Professor Brian Cox’s intelligence, the Dalai Lama’s insight, Channing Tatum’s dance technique, and Lewis Hamilton’s driving skills (hmmm that last one needs to come off MY list!)… breathhheeeee.

Finding the perfect man is like asking you to be the perfect woman. I was going to state it is a nice sentiment, but you know what, I don’t think it is even that. If you let the pursuit of perfection whether this be in yourself or a lover take over your life, you don’t need me to tell you that the results will be anything but perfect.

So maybe, we strip it back to basics, and a man becomes just a man… just as you are, at the end of the day, just a woman (albeit an awesome one). Just as we are never going to be perfect for them, we should also make allowances for their character quirks (I HATE the word flaws).

Supposing they were made up of noble characteristics such as striving to do good in the world, and showing courage in the face of adversity, would we be prepared to negotiate on the super flat abs? Perhaps you could even just whittle your list down to one thing – ┬áThat they love you in the best way for you, and this love is returned. Sure they will mess up, but then again so will you, and if it’s nothing that is monumentally important to you, shouldn’t we just let it slide? They maybe in your life for a good time or a long time, but as the saying goes, make hay while the sun shines and enjoy your journey together… wherever that may lead.

The secret is not perfect, the real secret is knowing you nor anyone else you know will ever achieve perfection… and owning all that you are anyway.


Love always,


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